Dear Dr. J,
I have a 14 year old neice and her mother, my sister in law, allows boys to spend the night with her, in the same room! She gets vvery offended if you object and her rationale is that "I trust my daughter." I know this is insane but what can I say to counter that? What do you tell someone who is so deluded that they can't see that NO 14 year old can be trustesd with their sexuality. I'm just asking for me but the the sad truth is, there are probably hundreds of thousands of parents out there that are actually that ignorant.
You are of course correct that no 14 year old can be trusted with a temptation of that magnitude. You have probably done all you can do with this mother however. My question is this: where is this child’s father? Is that your brother? He needs to put his foot down, but good.
Can you encourage and support the father? That might be the best strategy.