Anthony Buono
Women have an uncanny ability to make friends and be a friend. A good way to put it is that women are, by nature, inclined to care. Specifically, women care about people. They intuitively are capable of entering into the inner reality of human beings. This makes them capable of friendship.
It does not surprise anyone that women make friends with other women so easily. They show interest in each other. They enjoy the sharing of personal information. They pursue with sincerity knowing more about the person behind the external presentation.
Men, on the other hand, are primarily interested in the outer world. By nature, men focus on the “what” more than the “who” in life. Of course, I am not saying that men don’t have the ability to “care.” I’m only pointing out that women have an easier time at friendship than men do. Men get to know each other through actions rather than conversation. They do not sit down and start sharing what’s going on inside or their likes and dislikes. They just act, and they talk within situations, and knowledge about that man is revealed as he goes along. That is why men are much more transparent than women. You can know what a man is thinking or what he wants because he externalizes himself. Women keep things hidden inside and are hard to read externally.
Why is this so important to consider? It is because in dating relationships and in marriage, there can be an overstressing by women to have a man be their “best friend” at a level that is probably unrealistic. I’m all for friendship in courtship and marriage, but the friendship required for marriage needs to be defined and understood. It cannot be understood to mean that a woman will be getting someone she can converse with anytime she wants and about anything.
http://tob.catholicexchange.com/2009/05/22/777/
Showing posts with label dating. Show all posts
Showing posts with label dating. Show all posts
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Wednesday, June 03, 2009
Monday, February 16, 2009
Dating guidelines for young Christians
Allie Martin - OneNewsNow
A Christian author says his children have been encouraged not only to stay physically pure but also emotionally pure before marriage. Chuck Black and his wife Andrea have six children, ranging in age from 12 to 21. When it comes to dating, he says his children have been brought up to embrace a biblical view on the subject. Black notes his children are not allowed to date, unless the dating is intentional and leading toward marriage. He adds that his children were prepared beforehand for the dating guidelines.
Continue...
A Christian author says his children have been encouraged not only to stay physically pure but also emotionally pure before marriage. Chuck Black and his wife Andrea have six children, ranging in age from 12 to 21. When it comes to dating, he says his children have been brought up to embrace a biblical view on the subject. Black notes his children are not allowed to date, unless the dating is intentional and leading toward marriage. He adds that his children were prepared beforehand for the dating guidelines.
Continue...
Finding Mr Right
by Guiomar Barbi Ochoa
Is a traditional romance worth all the parties, book signings and online questionnaires? Trust me, it is.
...Furthermore, dating seems to have dissipated in the past few decades and this, in turn, has created a lot of confusion between men and women. By dating, I mean a man and a woman going out alone and getting to know each other. These days, there’s a lot more “hanging out” in groups and “hooking up” with various partners. All of this leads to ambiguity and lack of commitment. If there are no formal one-on-one outings or conversations of an exclusive nature taking place, nobody is held accountable for their actions and authentic relationships are never formed.
Continue...
Is a traditional romance worth all the parties, book signings and online questionnaires? Trust me, it is.
...Furthermore, dating seems to have dissipated in the past few decades and this, in turn, has created a lot of confusion between men and women. By dating, I mean a man and a woman going out alone and getting to know each other. These days, there’s a lot more “hanging out” in groups and “hooking up” with various partners. All of this leads to ambiguity and lack of commitment. If there are no formal one-on-one outings or conversations of an exclusive nature taking place, nobody is held accountable for their actions and authentic relationships are never formed.
Continue...
Monday, December 15, 2008
The Demise of Dating
By CHARLES M. BLOW
The paradigm has shifted. Dating is dated. Hooking up is here to stay.
(For those over 30 years old: hooking up is a casual sexual encounter with no expectation of future emotional commitment. Think of it as a one-night stand with someone you know.)
According to a report released this spring by Child Trends, a Washington research group, there are now more high school seniors saying that they never date than seniors who say that they date frequently. Apparently, it’s all about the hookup.
When I first heard about hooking up years ago, I figured that it was a fad that would soon fizzle. I was wrong. It seems to be becoming the norm.
I should point out that just because more young people seem to be hooking up instead of dating doesn’t mean that they’re having more sex (they’ve been having less, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention) or having sex with strangers (they’re more likely to hook up with a friend, according to a 2006 paper in the Journal of Adolescent Research).
To help me understand this phenomenon, I called Kathleen Bogle, a professor at La Salle University in Philadelphia who has studied hooking up among college students and is the author of the 2008 book, “Hooking Up: Sex, Dating and Relationships on Campus.”
It turns out that everything is the opposite of what I remember. Under the old model, you dated a few times and, if you really liked the person, you might consider having sex. Under the new model, you hook up a few times and, if you really like the person, you might consider going on a date.
I asked her to explain the pros and cons of this strange culture. According to her, the pros are that hooking up emphasizes group friendships over the one-pair model of dating, and, therefore, removes the negative stigma from those who can’t get a date. As she put it, “It used to be that if you couldn’t get a date, you were a loser.” Now, she said, you just hang out with your friends and hope that something happens.
The cons center on the issues of gender inequity. Girls get tired of hooking up because they want it to lead to a relationship (the guys don’t), and, as they get older, they start to realize that it’s not a good way to find a spouse. Also, there’s an increased likelihood of sexual assaults because hooking up is often fueled by alcohol.
That’s not good. So why is there an increase in hooking up? According to Professor Bogle, it’s: the collapse of advanced planning, lopsided gender ratios on campus, delaying marriage, relaxing values and sheer momentum.
It used to be that “you were trained your whole life to date,” said Ms. Bogle. “Now we’ve lost that ability the ability to just ask someone out and get to know them.”Now that’s sad.
E-mail chblow@nytimes.com
Copyright 2008 The New York Times Company
The paradigm has shifted. Dating is dated. Hooking up is here to stay.
(For those over 30 years old: hooking up is a casual sexual encounter with no expectation of future emotional commitment. Think of it as a one-night stand with someone you know.)
According to a report released this spring by Child Trends, a Washington research group, there are now more high school seniors saying that they never date than seniors who say that they date frequently. Apparently, it’s all about the hookup.
When I first heard about hooking up years ago, I figured that it was a fad that would soon fizzle. I was wrong. It seems to be becoming the norm.
I should point out that just because more young people seem to be hooking up instead of dating doesn’t mean that they’re having more sex (they’ve been having less, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention) or having sex with strangers (they’re more likely to hook up with a friend, according to a 2006 paper in the Journal of Adolescent Research).
To help me understand this phenomenon, I called Kathleen Bogle, a professor at La Salle University in Philadelphia who has studied hooking up among college students and is the author of the 2008 book, “Hooking Up: Sex, Dating and Relationships on Campus.”
It turns out that everything is the opposite of what I remember. Under the old model, you dated a few times and, if you really liked the person, you might consider having sex. Under the new model, you hook up a few times and, if you really like the person, you might consider going on a date.
I asked her to explain the pros and cons of this strange culture. According to her, the pros are that hooking up emphasizes group friendships over the one-pair model of dating, and, therefore, removes the negative stigma from those who can’t get a date. As she put it, “It used to be that if you couldn’t get a date, you were a loser.” Now, she said, you just hang out with your friends and hope that something happens.
The cons center on the issues of gender inequity. Girls get tired of hooking up because they want it to lead to a relationship (the guys don’t), and, as they get older, they start to realize that it’s not a good way to find a spouse. Also, there’s an increased likelihood of sexual assaults because hooking up is often fueled by alcohol.
That’s not good. So why is there an increase in hooking up? According to Professor Bogle, it’s: the collapse of advanced planning, lopsided gender ratios on campus, delaying marriage, relaxing values and sheer momentum.
It used to be that “you were trained your whole life to date,” said Ms. Bogle. “Now we’ve lost that ability the ability to just ask someone out and get to know them.”Now that’s sad.
E-mail chblow@nytimes.com
Copyright 2008 The New York Times Company
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