Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Who Killed Malachi?

Way back when.... I wrote about the sad case of a child killed in foster care, by his foster mother. His birth mother was 15 when he was born, and had been and still was, in foster care herself. My question was: why was that little boy not placed for adoption right away, so he could have had a chance for a normal life?
I got a lot of mail in my in-box, rather than through this blog. So I am just now getting around to posting it all here.
I must say, I feel somewhat uncomfortable with your comments in "Who Killed Malachi". As a crisis pregnancy counselor, I have to tell you how extremely difficult it is to get our clients to be open to the thought of adoption. Just today I tried and tried to get the point of how adoption would benefit their child to a couple that will most certainly lose their child to CYS and the foster care system once the baby is born. Adoption is not something they will even try to consider. Generally, these are lowly educated people who are not responsible and take no accountability for their actions,- all reasons that helped lead them to the crisis they are facing. They generally rebel against authority and truly believe that their children are better off with them. Your article made it sound like if only someone had encouraged adoption, the mother would have suddenly taken responsbility and accountability as a parent. While I am not at all familiar with this case, I can tell you that biological parents will rarely admit their children are better off elsewhere, much less be responsible enough to actually go through with placing their child for adoption. I went through a lengthy training from the National Adoption Council, yet in my 4 years at a crisis pregnancy center, I have yet to see a client 'do the right thing' by placing her child for adoption.

Thanks to everyone who wrote about this. Sorry it took so long to get this posted. The original article is here.


Unknown said...

My question is, why was the baby not cared for BY HIS MOTHER? They could have been cared for together with an emphasis on supporting her and teaching her to care for him herself.

But that wouldn't support the adoption industry, would it?

Jennifer Roback Morse said...

If you think the Adoption Industry is the big bad guy in this story, you've got another thought coming. The fact is that the little boy was in the same foster home as his mother, precisely because all the Social Work Industry thinks this is a good thing. The birth mother, aged 17, ran away from her foster home and left her child with her foster mother. That foster mother was unable to take care of a toddler without the birth mother's help. So she asked that the little boy be placed somewhere else. That is when he was placed in another foster home, with a different foster mother who is now charged with killing him.
What more should the County have done to help this birth mother learn to take care of the child herself? She had the assistance of her own foster mother, who sounde from all accounts, like a very competent and loving person. The prospects of an unmarried 15 year old, who has spent her entire life in foster care, learning to be a good mother, are so remote as to be laughable.