Thursday, May 31, 2007

What Dads Do: from London, via Albert Mohler

Albert Mohler's blog wonders "What boys Become without Male Authority."
What happens when boys grow up without the influence of male authority? Stewart Dakers, writing in the London Guardian, warns that the absence of engaged males in authority -- fathers in particular -- leads to brutal, crude, dangerous, and narcissistic teenage boys and young men....

Dakers explains that far too many boys are now raised by women, virtually alone. Even when husbands and fathers are still part of the family picture, they do not give attention to their progeny or invest in their children. They have no emotional attachment to their sons and they do not discipline their boys. All the emotion, care, guidance, and discipline -- what discipline there is -- comes from females. Boys raised in a female environment learn quickly to become masters of manipulation, Dakers advises. They first learn to manipulate their mothers, then move on to other females...
Dakers explains that boys and young men learn two basic ways to manipulate their mothers and the other female authorities in their lives -- "sweep her off her feet or pull the wool over her eyes." They make their way through a progression of bad behaviors, manipulating their way around and through female authority.

And female authority is virtually all many boys see. As Dakers reports:

It is not necessarily the absence of fathers. Split's was around, during those intervals between being a guest of Her Majesty. Pole's is around all the time, but might as well not be. He lounges around expecting food, drink, TV, clothes, sex - OK, so he handles the remote. He offers words of wisdom, shouts instructions, but anything unpleasant - tantrums, homework - is women's work. And on the occasions when anything requires discipline, handling, he'll find some pressing errand in the shed, under the car, down the pub, to excuse himself.

Which reflects the reality of the wider world. At the sharp end, the rock face, there is hardly a man in sight. In their early years, up to puberty, authority is exercised on young men exclusively by women - shop assistants, teachers, health visitors, social workers and, of course, sisters and mothers.
Boys are increasingly raised without fathers and without the force of male authority. They are coddled, entertained, and reinforced in self-assertion by a constellation of female influences. So many mothers and other women give themselves selflessly to the raising of these boys, but boys need the controlling force of male authority -- the male voice they cannot ignore. They need a man -- a father or father figure -- who knows what boys are up to when they try to manipulate, and who will put down an insurrection the moment it starts.

They need the influence and discipline of a man who will say no and make it stick, who will hold the boy accountable, and who will provide the necessary instruction in becoming a man. They need the male voice, but so many boys hear only the voices of women....
Split and Pole spend their time strutting their exaggerated masculinity as they intimidate citizens on a London sidewalk. Rest assured that the boys and young men who do the same in American neighborhoods and shopping malls are doing so for the same reason -- the absence of male authority.

We no longer have to wonder what a society of boys raised without fathers would look like. That society is taking shape before our eyes.

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